Almost spring

Yep 2 blogs in one day. Here are your two updates.

Aside from the heat, I’m excited that it’s finally spring. It’s been almost 90 degrees most days, but looking at the lovely blue sky and happy trees makes me feel better about it. I like to treat it as the “summer before summer” (plus allergies) because I’m a wimp and can’t stand summer heat. I still look forward to it, though.

Right now, I’m somewhat planning a pretty sick lemonade stand. I’d like to say that I’m pretty good at making lemonade. I make it from scratch and everything. Regular lemonade would just be lemon juice, some water (not as much as most people) and sugar. I think lemonade is way better when it isn’t diluted too much with water but is still balanced with sugar.

Last year, I made my own lemonade which I call Rackberry Lemonade. I took raspberries and blackberries with sugar and cooked them down until they made a simple sugar. It would also yield a pretty awesome jam, which I would eat on toast throughout the week. When added to the lemonade, it was seriously dreamy. I can’t get over how delicious it was.

 

It wouldnt just be a lemonade stand though. Which sounds dumb. I also make super good cold brew coffee in the summer that I could sell to the adults (if I don’t drink it all first). I could also sell really cute cookies and muffins. I would probably do it next to a baseball game for optimum dollars.

the act of running around

As of late, I have been completely and absolutely busy. My poor general manager must be crying in her office for all of the days I am asking off of work. Each day is jam-packed with studying, senior stuff, and maybe an hour of free time. It has been nice not working, but at the same time, I’ve been making no money. And that’s a bummer because I need to be saving up for college. I don’t really remember the last time I went out of my way to get some coffee or go shopping just for fun. So, yeah, apology for no coffee blogs, but that’s my life.

Even work has been somewhat un-developmental. Usually it’s just me showing up and closing on a slow night. I haven’t been making too many drinks, either, because I’ve been closing with my idiotic team lead who bar hogs only to make people crappy drinks.

I will literally be taking the time to explain to someone each drink, our espresso, tasting notes, and all of the fun stuff. I’ll finally put the order through, and I walk to the bar to make the drink (my favorite and most rewarding part) and he will get angry that I want to make it. Now, let’s keep in mind, he does not have priority over drink-making. In fact, I’m bothered that he hangs out on bar doing nothing until a drink comes up. Maybe try cleaning or attempting to close? or God forbid that YOU help a customer out and make their drink instead of just snagging all of my orders. You aren’t doing me a favor by saving time, you’re just sapping all of the joy out of my job!

Honestly this blog is about to turn into me complaining about him for the rest of the word count. He’s the kind of character you may find in a children’s book. He’s like 32 and still lives with his parents and is always desperately trying to get girls. The other day he lied about liking essential oils to impress some nature chick. He also walks like a bird. He’s just a really tall bird.

He also has the same formulaic responses to everything you say and sometimes I feel like I’m working with a robot who is kinda incapable of doing their job. I feel like if I worked with a robot, maybe stuff would get done once in a while. Like maybe the floors would be swept and the bakery could be put away without everything being ruined. But maybe that’s just my opinion.

 

Really relating to this piece of artwork right now. AP exams have me all messed up.

I wanted to start off by saying that it really sucks how many teachers pressure kids into over-valuing their classes to the point where it impacts the kid’s performance in their job or even other classes. Now, I’m not saying that a kid should treat a class like its nothing, but let’s be honest: highschoolers have priorities. There are a lot of teachers out there who will send their kids into a spiral of anxiety over a five point assignment. They don’t really realize how much stress a student may be facing with their lives and usually make it worse. I’m saying this as someone with a calculus exam approaching quickly and hardly enough time to prepare. I blocked off this entire week and even an hour-long interruption throws me off. Especially since my calculus exam is only 1 of the 4 I’m preparing for.
I just feel like there are a lot of things on my plate. I have to keep up with college deadlines, art deadlines, my work schedule, studying, as well as all of my graduation junk. Low key feel like I’m drowning right now and nothing makes me angrier than people commenting that I’m not trying in a class if I don’t perform with excellence every time. Like, I’m busy, okay? I can’t be amazing in everything, and at this point you’re just making me feel like shit. I don’t know. I guess that was my rant. I’m stressed. Whatever. Looking forward to finally doing more creative things with my life like getting into photography and getting better at art instead of just moping around at school or work every single day of my life. Ugh

Children’s story

A Burst of Color

(Black and white illustration)
John was not an interesting man.

Every morning, he woke up at 7.
He stretched his legs. He put on his suit.
Occasionally John would make notice of the chirping birds outside his window.
John would walk downstairs and greet his wife. She would make a full breakfast every day, yet most times he left for work with only a banana and a cup of coffee. 
He always used his favorite traveling mug; it had a misprint of a Microsoft logo that read, “Michaelsoft.” He thought it was hilarious.
He would leave work at exactly 7:30am. He would wish his wife goodbye. He always caught the 8am traffic, and sat in it patiently in the company of talk radio. 
At work, he would sit eagerly in his cubicle and tend to his spreadsheet. He’d make calls to clients and staple documents. On his way out of the office, at the end of the day, he would always make sure to thank his intern, Susie, for her quality work. 

He would then head home and hit the 5pm traffic, then welcome his wife upon his arrival. 
“Good day at the office today, Mary,” John would say to her every night before going to bed.
But on a particular summer night, something clicked inside of John.
Instead of going to sleep at 10pm, he lied awake. 
He got up from his bed, careful not to wake his resting wife, and was sure to neatly fix his bed covers.
John slipped on his shoes and robe, and headed down the hallway and towards the haunting front door. He reached towards the shining brass handle. His hand trembled. 
John stepped out into the pitch black darkness. His house was surrounded by heavily wooded forests and sounds of the night. 

And from the corner of his eye came a light from down the road. He had never looked out his window at this time of night. This light was a surprise. 
He walked towards it. The magnetism of the glowing orange light lured him in. His eyes were glued to the effervescent color.
The light brought him to a tiny shed embedded in the forest brush. A candle innocently flickered on a table beside the door.
“Hello?” John quivered into the dead of night. 
A rustling noise from the inside of the shed approached the door of the shed, and right as John was about to bolt, a delicate voice peaked through the crack of the door.
“Are you John?” A young woman squeaked through the crack in the door. Her golden locks wrapped around the door frame as her head poked out through the gap.

“Yes… I am,” John said nervously. 

“I’ve been waiting for this day for a while. Come in. I’m Jill.”
She opened the door and streams of dusty light poured out through the door. Beautiful rays of color from tinted glass illuminated the ground and wonderful paintings lined the walls. Color flowed from one painting into the next as if nothing he had seen before. 

“I’m an artist, John, and I am just what you needed. I see your routine every day. I see you with your banana and your Michaelsoft mug. I see the life drain from your eyes as each sun sets. I have to go home. But please take this.”
Jill held out her delicate hands, and in them:

(picture of tubes of paint, paint brushes in dirty hands)
Before John could even reply, she dashed out of the door and it slammed against the frame with a hard thud.
He stood there without words and clutched the white tubes of paint.

When his wife woke up from her steady slumber the following morning, she noticed that John had…
…disappeared.
In a panic, she shoved on her slippers, hopped out of bed, and ran for the hallway. 
When she peered down the whitened hallway, she noticed something. She noticed a stain on the wall. She followed the stain down the corridor, and it became progressively bigger and bigger as she walked, until the entire wall was blotted.
When she finally made it to the end, she looked out into the living room. Sitting on a chair next to the wall was John, paintbrush in hand, and a smile from ear to ear.
(Illustration: entire house covered with colorful paint) 

admittedly a bad blogger

Feeling kind of bad about being so neglectful to this blog. I feel like I never have anything to say. My life hasn’t been terrible lately but like I don’t have any big news. In the past couple months nothing has really changed. I haven’t really been doing small exciting things because I’m busy. Right now I’m studying for my AP exams and such, for instance. And if we’re being honest, blogging hasn’t been at the top of my list of priorities. I understand that writing is good for the mind and what-not, but all it has really been for me lately is just another thing to fall behind on and procrastinate. I also hate talking about myself in my own voice. I would prefer to avoid it like the devil. It doesn’t feel good to write my feelings on a website for everyone to see. I’d rather post art or recipes or something like every other white girl.

I guess I just don’t have that love for writing enough to tend to my blog on such a regular basis. 
Well, enough complaining I guess. One thing that has happened is that I’ve found my college room mate. Her name is Bailee and she sent me a good Guy Fieri meme within minutes of meeting her. She collects records, loves plants, and has cute clothes. She is also 5 feet tall and weighs like 80 pounds. Whereas I am a large human. I could probably eat her. But that’s besides the point. We are living in the gateway hall at mizzou and we will have a fantastic window (which is all that matters). It’s also very new so we won’t be freezing to death in the winter of sweating our brains out in early fall or late spring. I’m looking forward to it.

“Shrink a century”: June 2006

This is it. The summer had finally rolled around.

It felt like every week of May was a year in my young adolescent mind. But here I was, finally walking down the cement steps of the pathway neighboring my backyard that connected my bus stop to my street. 

It wasn’t the cheap kool-aid stands, nor the lust of diving into the cool blue swimming pool that had invaded my thoughts for the past few weeks. No, it was something a bit more… Entrepreneurial. My neighbor and I had been plotting ways to make our own money, so we didn’t have to ask our parents whenever the ice cream truck comes barreling down the street singing sweet music-box tunes nearly every day. But the thing was, my daycare didn’t really kick in until about early-June, so I would be home alone for a couple of weeks until then. I wasn’t supposed to be running around alone without parental supervision; AKA, I couldn’t go outside, because no parents were ever home. Which, quite frankly, was foolish on my parents part— they knew I loved the neighborhood creek more than anything, and I was far from being well-behaved. 

So, I set out on my adventure, which would be a reoccurring theme almost every day leading up to daycare. The end result would be a “nature sale.”
Every day, I would get up shortly after my parents left the house, put on my scuffed up tennis shoes, and run down to the creek with a smile stretched ear to ear. In the creek, I would collect cool rocks, pieces of bark, twigs, anything. I would then take them back to my house and sometimes even paint on them with tempera paint. Then, I’d pull my mom’s foldable table out of my garage and my neighbor would help me carry it to the side walk. We hung a banner reading the words: NATURE SALE: PAINTED ROCKS, BARK, AND MORE along with a few little flower drawings. We would carefully lay out each item on the table with little sticky note price tags, and some other neighbors would drive by and get a rock for 50¢ because I was cute. Sometimes, we would even sell some crappy lemonade advertised as “fresh squeezed” (even though it was definitely from a powder) to lure in more customers. 

At the end of each day, we would split the money and put away everything to the spot we found it. I would also hide the rocks and such in the garage storage room to avoid detection. 

It wasn’t until one day, in the midst of a $1.00 sale to my neighbor, that my mom pulled into the driveway. In that moment, she exchanged the deadliest glance with me imaginable, and I knew that the nature sale would never be erected again. 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mW1dbiD_zDk

new pup

Recently (as in a couple weeks ago) my family adopted a new dog named sierra. She’s an English lab and I feel like she definitely likes my music when I play it in the car.
I’ve never really felt more motherly than I do towards here. For the first time, I’m not just some snotty kid getting a new dog and playing with it while my parents were the ones actually taking care of it. I’m actually kind of an integral part of raising her and I feel like I’m contributing a lot towards her.
For starters, I actually regularly take her on walks, which isn’t really a thing with my other dogs. She’s just insanely high energy and I would rather her walk around than try to eat my shoes. Whenever I walk her, I have to take a big bag full of a bunch of stuff like plastic bags, food, water, treats, a squeak toy, even hand sanitizer. My dad kind of went overboard. Once in a while I’ll reach into my jacket pockets and find treats or something. No biggie. Total mom.

Anyway, here she is trying to eat Sydney, my moms boxer

  

I think my favorite thing about her is that she pretty much understood potty training from the get-go. I’ve never really cleaned up any accidents from her. But honestly if you’re raising a puppy and can’t tell what a dog who has to pee looks like, you’re probably not going to have a good time. She’s my 8th dog so I kind of get it.

Another thing: her favorite toy is a little lamb squeak toy I got her. Take that and your lame toys, dad!

Being forced to do any type of hobby is kind of (actually extremely) stressful. Honestly, it almost feels degrading. I’ve noticed that lately I have been delaying on finishing any art projects because (a) I don’t really have time for them, (b) I don’t have the inspiration for them, and (c) I’m being forced to complete them. Eh, not in a strict amount of time, but still forced. I’ve been so uninspired and I feel like most of my projects have turned out looking like trash. There’s not much pushing me to improve at what I’m doing. I’m regressing.

My work from last year wasn’t really perfect, but it was still pretty good, and I put a lot of time into each piece. Each one was turned in on time. Now I’m here, at 11 o clock at night, 2 projects behind, with 4 being actually due tomorrow. I spent all of today and yesterday finishing a painting I started almost a month ago. I wish I wasn’t like that all the time, procrastinating and shit. It’s like I’m not even really excited by art anymore because I’m struggling to find the perfect voice and angle and style but everything I do is just off. Nothing really fits, and now I’m just sitting here, being kind of upset about my lack of creativity & lack of productivity in the past year. Anyway, here are the two paintings that are finished.
   

Cosmic anonymity


 
flesh tint